From Golden Cage to Sovereign Life: Our 5‑Phase Journey to Moving Abroad

Four years ago, I had a life most people would call successful. A career in a high‑tech corporation, a house, a happy family, and the chance to travel the world for work. But something was missing. Together with my family, we made the radical decision to give everything up and start over in Mexico. In the meantime, we’ve built a new home here and a thriving business. Successful relocation is possible for anyone. In this article you’ll find the perfect way to develop your expat mindset and relocation strategy

Moving abroad isn’t a leap into the unknown—it’s a structured process with five phases. And they start long before the physical move. From mental preparation and strategic planning to integration in your destination country—this is my lived experience of how to navigate each phase successfully and what you need to bring to be ready for the big step.

Phase 1: The Realization — When the golden cage starts to press

We all make ourselves comfortable in our comfort zone. That’s exactly what our subconscious wants. Sure, I still had challenges and a demanding job. But the tasks and obstacles were predictable—or so it seemed.

Despite success at work and at home, I didn’t feel 100% fulfilled. I had been thinking about change for a long time. Start my own business. Take a long trip. Find a new job. The problem with these decisions is that they trigger deep change with uncertain outcomes. At the same time, life in the comfort zone gives us a sense of safety—even though that promise is often an illusion.

I call this the “curse of a good life.” We’re not really suffering, so we vote against change—and we gamble away the chance at a much better life. Comfort over growth. To make a truly big move, the pain of the status quo has to become strong enough.

That moment hit me during the pandemic. Before that, frequent international trips to visit customers and development partners brought some excitement into my life.

When lockdowns forced me to spend my days on screens and in Zoom meetings, my feeling hardened: I had to change something. I realized I had mastered the success path perfectly—only it wasn’t my path. I was wasting time in meetings nobody needed and on decks nobody read. The salary felt like pain compensation for lost time.

In an instant it was clear that we—this is always a family decision—had to change something.

Epiphany

The first step isn’t quitting your job or picking a destination country. It’s accepting that something is missing and consciously acknowledging that your current life doesn’t meet your own standards.

This is also where you clarify your “why.” Only when your motives are strong enough can change be sustainable and successful.

Phase 2: Mental Transformation — From security thinking to possibility orientation

“I can’t quit my job. I need the paycheck.” “We have a mortgage. I have to provide for my family.”

For years I carried beliefs that limited my growth and held me back from big change.

A leap into the unknown always comes with risk. And our environment contributes to the uncertainty. Parents and friends will tell you exactly why it’s a bad idea. “What about your career? Your pension? The kids’ education? Crime in Mexico? What if you get sick?”

Of course there’s risk. Those concerns are valid and deserve careful consideration. The mistake we often make is ranking our known life as inherently safer than the unknown.

First, the safety we rely on is often an illusion. Second—and more important—we sacrifice freedom and growth for that feeling of safety.

Logic rarely gets us out of this, because the concerns are rooted deep in the subconscious.

How to shift perspective

Instead of trying to convince ourselves with motivational goals or benefits, a perspective shift helps. Two scenarios make it practical.

Scenario 1 is the possibility scenario. It focuses on potential growth. Instead of thinking about what could go wrong, imagine what you could achieve. The aim is to get your ideas and potential paths as close as possible to your ideal life. That requires clarity about what you want. Questions that help:

• Who are you?
• Who are you pretending to be?
• Who do you want to be?
• What truly matters in your life?
• What do you want to build and experience?

We all have a unique portfolio of experiences and skills. We can use them to reach our goals. The difference between people who succeed and those who don’t is consistency of execution. Successful people fail too—they just keep going and learn.

Scenario 2 is the worst‑case scenario. This single thought experiment completely changed my perspective. Even moving abroad isn’t irreversible or a life sentence.

My wife and I asked: “What’s the worst that could happen?” The answer surprised us. In the worst case, we’d travel as a family for a year, and if we didn’t like it, we’d return and find new jobs in industry.

Worst case: one year of family adventure.

We could live with that.

Mental shift

The unknown always feels riskier; the familiar always looks better. That’s how our brains work—but it isn’t universal truth. Use perspective shifts to see relocation in a more positive light, and play out both the best case (usually full of possibilities) and the worst case (often not that bad). Give your subconscious time to process and adopt these new perspectives.

Do you have what it takes to become an Expat and live your dream life abroad? Do our free Expat Mindset Test and find it out.

Phase 3: Strategic Preparation — Weave the safety net before you jump

Speziell mit Familie kann man natürlich nicht Hals über Kopf durchstarten. Gleichzeitig sollte man nicht im Especially with a family, you can’t just bolt. At the same time, don’t get stuck in planning mode forever. For us, three months passed between decision and takeoff. That speed has pros and cons.

Our biggest challenge was selling the house and closing everything out. We were lucky there was strong demand. Timelines will vary based on your situation.

Don’t underestimate the emotional side—not only your own, but also family and friends’. Expect a mix of confusion and grief.

Make sure the following are clear before you take off:

• Financial buffer: Depending on how far along your location‑independent business is, your reserves should cover 12–36 months. Estimate monthly needs from cost of living in your destination, your family needs, and a safety margin.
• Your own business: How will you earn? What do you want to do? How will you create value? What are your unique strengths?
• Immigration rules: What’s required to stay long‑term?
• Relocation model: Slow travel as digital nomads or settle in a new home base?
• Language and culture: Aim to integrate quickly. Language is essential. Don’t fall into the trap of only expat communities without local ties. You’ll miss a lot of the experience.

Strategic insight: Longer preparation isn’t always better. Prepare for the adventure, but don’t overthink it. Things will unfold differently than you expect—always.

Phase 4: The Move — A long dream becomes real overnight

Even if nothing goes exactly as planned—day X arrives. And then there we were at the airport: my wife and I, our two sons, two dogs, and nine suitcases. Yes, despite selling most of our possessions, we still had a surprising amount.

Thankfully, friends in Mexico City picked us up. We rented an Airbnb in a nice area for three weeks to land and settle. We didn’t yet know where we would stay long‑term. That´s why we decided to travel until we found the right place for the next chapter. That decision turned our “relocation project” into a longer journey.

It helped immensely—there’s no pressure to immediately handle every formality and slide back into routine. It’s hard to decide on a future home from afar. You need to experience places. If you can, visit and feel different locations.

That was one reason for Mexico: the diversity of landscapes, climates, and cultures. On our list: Tepoztlán, the Pacific coast, Chiapas and San Cristóbal, and of course the Caribbean.

From home, the Caribbean sounds perfect—beaches and clear water. In the end, it felt too hot and too touristy for daily life.

Moving insight

Culture shock is inevitable. Lower your expectations and let yourself be surprised. If you show up open‑minded, you’ll see true beauty. Wherever you go, you’ll discover it isn’t perfect there either—just different. Enjoy the new experiences.

Phase 5: Integration — From tourist to member of society

Our journey took nine months and brought unforgettable experiences. Then we reached Xalapa in Veracruz—and we knew immediately: this is home.

Even now, almost four years later, I’m not Mexican. I probably never will be. I’m an open, curious world citizen. Of course I’m still German and will always feel German. But living in a new environment changed me profoundly.

“How did your kids handle it?” Honestly, they adapted faster and better than we did. They speak fluent Spanish, are among the best in school, and feel completely at home.

Do we get homesick? Of course—sometimes. We miss family and friends, German bread, and occasionally how neatly things work in Germany. But it’s temporary. We love the sun, nature, and Mexican way of life. The trade was worth it.

Best of all: we’re better off financially than before. Not because everything is cheaper, but because I work globally and live locally—geo‑arbitrage. We built a house and set up an international finance and tax structure. I can design my time. Because I work on what I truly care about, my productivity and satisfaction have soared.

Integration insight: Integration doesn’t mean giving up your identity. It means growing—and combining the best of different worlds. Keep your strengths and open yourself to new perspectives.

What I want you to take with you

If you’re considering a radical change—relocating abroad or your own “small reset”—here are my biggest lessons:

• Mental transformation comes before the physical move. Work on your mindset first, then your address.
• Plan thoroughly, but don’t disappear into planning. Some things you only understand by doing.
• Build location‑independent and passive income before you move. Financial freedom is the key to geographic freedom.
• Learn the language—at least the basics. It’s the fastest way to earn respect and build real connections.
• Keep the best of your culture, but be open to the new. Your “German virtues” can be a competitive advantage.
• If you aren’t happy right now, a new place probably won’t fix it. Work on freedom from within and start designing life on your terms.

Sometimes you need a change of place to see this. Sometimes a change of perspective is enough.

For us, moving to Mexico was the best decision for that time. Will we stay forever? I don’t know—and that’s okay. What matters is staying flexible and open to the new. We can’t always control external conditions, but we can always make the best of the situation in front of us. That should be the goal.

Are you dreaming of a self‑determined life abroad? Book a free Relocation Strategy Session. I’ll share practical tips and we’ll find out together whether you’re ready—or what’s missing to get you started..